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When You Feel Like a Bad Mom, You’re Actually the Best Mom

The fact that you are here thinking that you are a bad mother and want more for your children is the most valuable thing there is, isn't it? Your heart is so full of love for them. You think they deserve better. But to that I say, you are already the best mom for your kids. If you feel like a bad mom, you’re actually the best mom you can be to these precious little souls.


Those moments of doubt? They are evidence of a deep, caring heart. A heart that wants nothing but the best for its children.


The tears she sheds over perceived shortcomings? They are evidence of the great love she feels for her children.


When You Feel Like a Bad Mom, You’re Actually the Best Mom

In this messy, imperfect journey of motherhood, it is precisely these moments of vulnerability that reveal the strength and resilience of a mother’s love.

So, to the moms who question their every move: Take heart — you’re not failing; you’re doing an incredible job! Because your love knows no bounds, and that alone makes you a great mom.



4 Things to do When you feel Like a Bad Mom


For me, those first months were the hardest, most emotionally breaking, earth shattering days. I constantly had mom guilt. Knowing that I wasn’t being the best I could be toward my sweet baby boy, who was just wanting some milk and contact naps i kept looking at things around that were not done.


Yet amidst those moments of questioning, it’s essential to recognize that often when a mother feels like she’s failing, she’s actually excelling in ways she may not even realize.



Meet any Lacking Physical Needs


Once I would realize I was coming into this spiral of what I thought a bad mother looked like, I would often times take a step back. Ask myself if there’s anything my body needs. Have I eaten a decent meal? (A nutritious one!) Showered in the last day? Had any time alone to do what I wanted to do?

If the answer is no to any of these things then some action needs to be taken.

Do not be afraid to ask for help!

In fact, in the time of writing this, i have a lady to clean my apartment and my dad to look after my son.


Some might not be fortunate to do such, but you have to figure out what your most important needs are and how you can easily meet them, even if your little one is around you.


Make some nutrient dense and filling grab-and-go snacks. Bring out some toys your child hasn’t seen in a while, and set them in the bathroom with you while you shower.

Your physical needs are so important when you feel like you’re failing. When you feel like an angry mom. When you just want to give up. Your self care is vital to being the best mother you can be. Although, it isn’t the only answer.

If your partner is having a hard time understanding this, have a good talk with them about how thinly stretched you may feel. Do this calmly. Don’t come after them with anger. They may not understand the weight that is on your shoulders on a daily basis. Ask if they can take full control of the kids’ day once a week (if you can) so you can have a mommy’s day to set your mood for the week to come.

Don’t let guilt overtake you about the need to be there for your children 24/7. This is often times when mothers become anxious, stressed, and angry.


Get out of the House or Reset


Even if it’s just a quick trip to the back yard or patio, or a whole car trip to your favorite places. Getting out of the house helps dramatically with both mine and my child’s moods if we seem to be extra grumpy that day.

I don’t have the pleasure of a back or front yard, but I make due with a little park behind the house.

I am able to recharge a little bit, and take a transition from angry mom to calm and mentally steady mom. Grab maybe something to drink or a snack and enjoy some fresh air!

Make this a regular every day thing if you can, and it will help in the long run so you don’t find yourself in the middle of angry mom nearly every day. Having a reset almost always help our day shift in a good way.


Know When to Back Down


One thing to note within this topic is, is there a power struggle? Is your stubborn and strong willed child testing your limits? The issue with this is we want to raise independent, strong willed children. And although we may not want to have power struggles with them, it is often us who need to change.

You cannot change who a person is, especially someone so young. So if we want something to give, something to change with the constant power struggles, it is us who need to take a step back and make that change. Pick your battles wisely, and let them be strong willed, and question everything including our parenting styles.


Take a Deep Breath, and Try Again Tomorrow


I will tell you a secret. You aren’t going to mess your child up for life after one bad day, or even a bad week. One thing that I find very important when you do mess up, when angry mom comes out, it is so important to apologize to your children. Verbally apologize. Offer cuddles and perhaps a change of scenery or activity.

And!

Be gentle on yourself! Every single one of us has bad days. Understand that it’s normal to have doubts and insecurities.

We’re all bad moms sometimes. But it’s what we can do about it, that matters!


Focus on your strengths. Remind yourself of the amazing mother that you are,. How capable you are for those little people. Look at pictures of your kids. Focus on the positive, even if it’s a moment from weeks ago. Listen to some podcasts or read a good book about slow and intentional parenting. And set realistic expectations for yourself.

No one is perfect. When children see you mess up, taking action, being quick to apologize, and to care for yourself, this will help them control their little emotions as well. Lead by example, as they say.


At the end of a hard day, remember your impact. Remind yourself that your love and efforts are making a difference in your child’s life, even on the toughest days.

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Mathew & Klara

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Our online friendship led us to a long-distance relationship that turned into marriage, 11 years together and in summer 2022 we also promoted to parents to the sweetest baby boy.

Our passion is nature, wellness and photography, we strongly believe, that life is in our hands and with this motto in our mind we create our life path.

 

Our blog contains articles about healthy lifestyle, relationships, wellness and minimalism 

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